A prayer for relief....
Dearest Universe/God/Lord/Whatever (I don't want to offend, although I tend to think of you as a Universal energy ball),
Last night around midnight, you sent me quite a message, and reiterated it throughout the night while I slept. You see, I'd been quite bad on my diet this last week. And in fact, have balooned back up to 358.7 lbs. I had 'recommitted' myself to starting this morning, but apparently you wanted to send me a little stronger vibe.
If you've never experienced it, let me tell you about what you sent me. It's called GERD (Gastro-Esophegeal Reflux Disease). I've had it for awhile off and on, and usually can predict when it's going to happen and take some medicine. But last night I didn't eat anything that would have triggered it (oh sure, I ate a half bag of double stuff oreos and some fried chicken, but nothing spicy).
And yet - at midnight, I awoke with a start.
And there it was. That feeling. Let me describe it. Acid builds up in your throat - as if you've just thrown up. But you haven't. Usually there's some drool that's accumulated while you slept. And your mouth keeps producing saliva. The acid burns the throat badly. You cough when you breathe, and it hurts. If you drink water - it makes it worse. But if you don't - your throat dries out painfully. You have two options - throw up, which feels worse - or wait and let it subside - which it might not and you have to throw up anyhow. If you sit up straight it's worse, but if you lie down it's much worse, so you have to slouch and bend your neck down so the esophagus isn't quite extended.
And I sat there, in pain, Amber sleeping beside me, realizing that it was the weight. It was the food. It was the junk. It was all of it adding up and the stress of everything. It wasn't spices that was burning me.
It was me.
I was eating myself alive from the inside.
Am I asking for sympathy? A little.
Am I asking for a cure? Hell no.
What I'm asking for - and what I'll be drawing on - is energy and resolve to beat this thing once and for all. I'm tired of being tired.
I'm sick of being sick.
And your message was heard - loud and clear.
I'm on it.
Amen.
Meow.
Last night around midnight, you sent me quite a message, and reiterated it throughout the night while I slept. You see, I'd been quite bad on my diet this last week. And in fact, have balooned back up to 358.7 lbs. I had 'recommitted' myself to starting this morning, but apparently you wanted to send me a little stronger vibe.
If you've never experienced it, let me tell you about what you sent me. It's called GERD (Gastro-Esophegeal Reflux Disease). I've had it for awhile off and on, and usually can predict when it's going to happen and take some medicine. But last night I didn't eat anything that would have triggered it (oh sure, I ate a half bag of double stuff oreos and some fried chicken, but nothing spicy).
And yet - at midnight, I awoke with a start.
And there it was. That feeling. Let me describe it. Acid builds up in your throat - as if you've just thrown up. But you haven't. Usually there's some drool that's accumulated while you slept. And your mouth keeps producing saliva. The acid burns the throat badly. You cough when you breathe, and it hurts. If you drink water - it makes it worse. But if you don't - your throat dries out painfully. You have two options - throw up, which feels worse - or wait and let it subside - which it might not and you have to throw up anyhow. If you sit up straight it's worse, but if you lie down it's much worse, so you have to slouch and bend your neck down so the esophagus isn't quite extended.
And I sat there, in pain, Amber sleeping beside me, realizing that it was the weight. It was the food. It was the junk. It was all of it adding up and the stress of everything. It wasn't spices that was burning me.
It was me.
I was eating myself alive from the inside.
Am I asking for sympathy? A little.
Am I asking for a cure? Hell no.
What I'm asking for - and what I'll be drawing on - is energy and resolve to beat this thing once and for all. I'm tired of being tired.
I'm sick of being sick.
And your message was heard - loud and clear.
I'm on it.
Amen.
Meow.
posted by Jonathan "The Voice" at 11:13 AM
1 Comments:
After reading this, I need to say a prayer for all the self-absorbed shitheads in the world. I don't want to offend GOD, but I sure would like to offend you. Stop eating, you slob! Going on and on about yourself is NOIT the way to lose weight. Why don't you take your head out of your ass and help some people with real problems? If you spent one hour at a Children's hospital or a shelter you'd realize how insignificant you really are. Grow up!
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